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Your depression and anxiety symptoms are very likely to be a result and response to the toxic environment you’re in.I don’t think there will be any easy way to get your husband to treat you with more respect, but I do have an idea about what might help.There is a third approach, usually called ‘assertiveness’ that maybe you haven’t tried yet.The middle way, assertiveness, is a way to confront the abuse without attacking back yourself.While it is true that it is less acutely dangerous to be verbally abused than to be physically or sexually abused, verbal abuse is still abuse.It wears down your spirit and can make you depressed and feel bad about yourself.It seems you have sometimes taken a passive approach towards his belittling of you (when you have ignored and forgiven him), and you have also taken a fairly aggressive approach to dealing with him too (when you confront him and show your anger). The problem with being passive is that your husband gets to treat you badly without challenge.The problem with being aggressive back towards him is that he is likely to see your anger and get angry himself, causing a fight to occur.

Rather, you want to communicate your hurt feelings.There are a few secrets to being assertive rather than aggressive or passive.You’ll want to give up on ignoring your husband’s behavior as this doesn’t work for managing him.I would just like to to tell you that I have tried to just ignore everything and get on with trying to have a normal life…always forgiving and forgetting…bearing with him …going along with however he wants things to be ..laughing when he allows me too and crying when he chooses to pour out all his negativity onto me.

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